Zebras -- watch out!

It's been a while, the semester was a lot of work and I found myself too tired to share the stories. Most of them are forgotten if not recorded quickly.

This story, however, will never be forgotten because ... well, you'll see.

I was trying to get my freshmen students to understand the mathematical concept of domain, in situations that were non-mathematical. For example, where do fish live? It was surprisingly difficult with this particular group on this particular day.

I asked, "Where do zebras live?"
A kid says, sincerely, "In the zoo?"
Another kid said, "Zebras are mean."
Another, "We almost got a zebra, but didn't because they're mean."
Another kid, "Can zebras eat you?"
Me, "Yes."

I decided to share the story, actually was compelled, with my precalculus students. When I finished, a student was laughing really hard and said, "They're so stupid, zebras can't eat you unless you're already dead!"

True story!

Note I found...

Smart Paul versus Dumbass Paul

One of the immature freshmen boys I have has been a real pain in the butt all year. He's always off task, is a constant distraction and intensely energetic. Even getting this kid to do something as basic as writing something down is difficult. With kids like this, you just try to limit the damage they cause in class. Yet you don't want to exclude them...you always offer the opportunity to improve and change. Each day they have that opportunity. Each day they chose to do well or not.

The kid tried out for basketball and made the team, but never got to play because he was ineligible. His coaches reported that he was a constant distraction and menace during practice.

The other day this kid, Paul, asked if I thought he was smart. I answered honestly and said, "I have no idea. You've never done anything to show me if you're smart or not. All I know is that you're immature."

Apparently he did some thinking about that. He went out and bought a notebook, started taking notes and participating. He even went as far as to reprimand other students, saying (without sarcasm), "Come on guys, we've got work to do!"

I complimented him, saying I was glad to have Smart Paul in class and hoped that we'd seen the last of DumbAss Paul. He laughed and said that DumbAss Paul was gone for good." I knew better.

It lasted a day and a half. Then he began his old behaviors. I could see him struggling to do well, struggle to pay attention and do what he knew was required to be successful. He seemed to enjoy his brief success and wasn't willing to let it go to waste without a struggle.

I said, "Hey, looks like an epic battle between DumbAss Paul and Smart Paul. Who's gonna win?"

He said, "Smart Paul, for sure."

"That's who I'm rooting for!" Several other students said the same.

It became apparent that Smart Saul was losing. I mentioned as much. He said, "That's OK. Baskeball Paul is gonna beat 'em both."

A short while later, Smart Paul was dead and buried. I asked what happened to Smart Paul, mentioned what I'd noticed. He said, "No worries...basketball Paul will win!"

I asked, "Yeah? How many games has basketball Paul played? You better come up with something better!"

Check Your Phone

I was giving instruction when I noticed a student texting on his cell phone. Since I was giving instructions to the class I didn't stop to tell him to stop texting. When I finished, he looked up and asked the very question that was the point of my instruction. I told him to check his phone.

He did.

A few minutes later he says, "The answer's not there."

Weirdness.

Sometimes it's the Adults

The teacher sitting next to me is a nice lady. But she sits like a poodle on its haunches, "sitting pretty" for a treat.

The day before she smelled smoke coming from next door to her room yesterday, right before a pep rally. I asked her what kind of smoke, cigarettes or pot. She said, "I don't know the difference."

"You know what cigarettes smell like?"
"Yeah," she said.
"Was it that?"
"I don't really know anything about anything like that."

Anyhow, fast forward to today. We had a "professional development" day, all day today. It was surreal. We sat, for 8 hours, and were trained. We listened to people talk extensively about collaboration and sharing of ideas, techniques and so on. Good stuff those people were talking about.

This lady took out a note book and started writing down notes about what they were saying. They said the phrase, "Power Objectives" or something like that. She wrote that in HUGE letters, underlined it and colored around it.

Then the group really started talking about how collaboration was helping their school. This was 3 hours into the presentation, without a break. It's in the cafeteria. Your arms stick to the tables, not sure what that substance is!

My neighbor said, "Oh, I love collaboration."
I shared the sentiment, but commented, "We're not collaborating, we're talking about it."
She said, "Well, we just don't have the time."
I said, "Now would be a good time."

She wasn't phased. I couldn't rain on her parade.

________________________________________________________________________

Then we had a short lunch. I ate at my desk, trying to get some work done, but mostly escaping the cafeteria. Steven King should write a book that takes place with a room full of teachers. It's creepy!

After lunch we had "break-out sessions." In these we got to learn about things like Special education 101, Discovery TV in the classroom ( would be cool if we had the technology to use it) and then, classroom management by an administrator. Classroom management is NOT like riding a bike, you lose it, immediately...even over a weekend. :D

In the first, Special Education 101, the instructor had her belly showing the entire time. It was worse than the material she was telling us.

The second session was held in a computer lab by the most passive aggressive woman I've ever met. I don't know who she was, but when a woman had trouble with her computer, the passive aggressive woman said, "Well, why don't you just sit there then," in the sweetest voice possible.

After a while of listening to her commercial voice (can't tune it out), she said, "Now I'll give you some time for self exploration."

yeah, I'm like 11 or something. I pushed my friend and he almost fell out of his chair.

Either way is different

I have 13 freshman that are in remedial math for two hours a day. I do as much relationship building with those kids as I do actual teaching of math. To reward them when they work hard, we sometimes talk about various things.

One day I decided to teach them a few come-backs to common insults. One come-back was to any insult towards one's mother. The come back is, "At least I have a mom and not two dads like you."

The other come-back I taught them was when someone said, in Spanish, "Your face." The come-back was, "At least I have a face and not two butts."

Today, the most hyper, most immature kid I have ever had, was in a bit of a cut-down war that broke out during the progress of a game we were playing. Someone said to him, in Spanish, "Your face."

He said, "At least I have a face and not two dads like you."

I think he missed the point.