Thanks for helping...

Today a student bragged, "Mr, I helped save 3 lives." (She donated blood.)

I said, "Thanks for contributing to over-population. Now, we're all going to die."

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I have a few re-takers in the college algebra class I teach for the community college. Today they were giving me a hard time for "failing them." Mostly, it was just one person.

During the instruction I informed the class, "You'll be doing this all year."

The re-taker said, "You mean all semester."

I said, "For some of us, a year."

Twilight and Avatar

My lessons are presented in powerpoint. I like to jokingly brag about the animations I use. So, today, I claimed that the animation I had used was better than the special effects in the movie Avatar.

I then asked if anybody heard about the new movie coming out this summer that was part Twilight and part Avatar called Twivatar. It would be about blue vampires on a foreign planet.

A student said, with utmost seriousness, "Mr, those are two different movies."

Later she claimed to be the smartest kid in the class...and she brought up the subject.

I Don't Plan These Corruptions of the Truth

The state determined that, after 12 years of the high school's bell schedule, class time was insufficient and needed to be 4 minutes longer per class. To accomplish this, the start time was moved back 5 minutes, and one class that doesn't count (for credit), was limited to 30 minutes instead of an hour.

Many of the students did not know that the school was going to start five minutes earlier after the Christmas break. So, accordingly, they showed up late on the first day back.

When they arrived, I informed the class of the new schedule, and of how the early-release and late-start day schedules were going to change (be longer).

They asked why, and I said, "The state gives you credit based on how many hours in a year you sit in that chair and learn. The school didn't have class periods long enough. So, they changed the schedule. Now, to make up for last semester, they had to cancel spring break."

Of course, spring break was not canceled, but everything else I had said was so incredible and yet undeniably true, they never doubted me.




Fast forward one day...

Students asked, "Does today's lesson have anything to do with today's homework?"

I was impressed they noticed. Regardless, yesterday was the first day back, and thus, I gave them an EASY assignment, one they all knew how to do. However, the lesson was a little difficult and pertained more to today's assignment than yesterday's.

To explain this I said, "The same reason episodes of Blues Clues are shown back-to-back. You learn it the second time."

I heard a bunch of, "Oh, yeah, huhs," which told me that they realized that Blues Clues was shown back to back, but didn't necessarily understand the role repetition has in learning.

I said, "But I liked Blues Clues better with Steve."
I heard a bunch of, "Oh yeah, me too, way better," and so on.

Someone asked, "Why did Steve leave?"

I said, "He was touching the children, got fired."

They didn't like Steve much after that until I told them I was kidding. Then, they didn't believe I was kidding. I had to convince them I was completely ignorant of why Steve left the show.

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During precalculus today I was explaining a solution to a problem. The complexity involved to arrive at the final step was fairly intense for them. But the final step was 2 + 3. Getting the 2 and the 3 was the hard part.

I said, "And 2 + 3 is 5, but in about 2 minutes someone will ask, Mr, where did you get 5?"

And sure enough, a few moments later, someone who had been paying attention (by appearances only), said, "Mr, I have a serious question. Where did you get 5?"

I said, 2 + 3 is 5.
She said, "Oh."
I asked, Did you know where the 2 and 3 came from?
She said, Yeah, and explained appropriately.

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That's Why

In my teaching style I intentionally, and often accidentally, throw a lot of mistakes in my math. Sometimes the mistakes are computational, sometimes conceptual (usually my accidental mistakes are computational). I find that looking for mistakes really engages students in the material, gets them thinking instead of just copying.

A result of this is frequent debate over appropriate solutions to math problems. That's an awesome thing. What I've noticed is a trend among teenagers to say, when they've been proven wrong and realize it, "Yeah, that's why."

Example:

Student: Mr, what are you doing tomorrow?
Me: Working.
Student: You're going to work on Saturday?
Me: Today is Thursday.
Student: Yeah, that's why.

It's you, dumbass.

Today was the first day back to school after Christmas break. I decided that in the freshman class we'd play a little game to kill the last 10 minutes of class (they're in my class for 2 hours).

The game was where all students tell something they did on vacation and then later I state an activity and ask a student who did that activity.

A girl, Anissa, went to California. We live in Arizona.

A boy, John, went to Iowa. They sit next to each other in class.

I said, "This student left the state and went west."

I called on the boy John, asked him if he knew who it was. He was stumped, giving his typical dopey look. Everybody laughed at him, called him dumb, stupid, whatever. He shrugged it off, saying he didn't remember. Then Anissa said, while punching him, "It's you dumbass."

Students informed her that she, Anissa, went west, not John, who went to Iowa. She buried her face in her hands, laughing. Then, became indignant, and said, "But I went to EAST LA."