Thumb Tack and Cookies

There's a freshman boy who is single-handedly rewriting the definition of edible. He eats EVERYTHING...or did eat everything. Girls would find various items on the floor and hand them to Mike (not his real name) and Mike would eat them.

Pencils were a particular favorite of Mike's. By the end of class, he'd have a lead left, all of the wood was consumed. Pens, paper, gum wrappers, you name it. It was past ridiculous and annoying and I half hoped he'd get sick on something.

One quiet day, while all were working, I yelled, "Mike, where'd you get that?! Spit it out, do NOT swallow that thumb tack! Mike, oh my...what the ..."

And of course Mike denied it...he hadn't eaten a thumb tack, never had one. I made it up. However, his sheepish look that says, "I think I just got away with something," didn't convince a soul.

Then I said, "You know, that could very well puncture your intestine, causing blood poisoning. This could turn our very bad for you Mike."

All of his friends were very mad at him. He continued to deny, just like he denies everything he is accused of, though he's almost always guilty. So, of course, nobody believed him.

Funny thing is...since then, he's not eaten anything, at least not in my class. Doesn't even chew on a pencil anymore.

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A girl I've had in class for 3 straight years bought some cookies from the culinary arts' fund raiser. She had the cookie on her desk and I swiped it when I walked past her desk. I figured she'd notice immediately, but nope.

About 10 minutes later she says, in spanish, "Where's my cookie?"

That was my cue. I walked to the front of the room, took the cookie out of my jacket pocket, and ate it in front of the entire class.

Luckily, it was a stolen cookie because I never expected that culinary arts would be abstract. The girl, she, for once, had nothing to say...just sat there like a trout, jaw open.